Ten
key roles in a group...which one am I? You have all met these people at political meetings...you know I am right.......
The
Lone Wolf
You
dont commit yourself to the group, but love to criticise or compare
the group with other groups, usually unfavorably.Ask yourself “ Why
do I hang around people I consider inferior? Am I afraid of my
equals/. Also ask “ How would my criticisms be different if I said
“ We should...instead of. You should …/”
The
Orphan
Often
6you come from a background of loss and deprivation. You may have
been a prisoner, a mental patient or another one of societies
excluded. You desperately want the closeness that the group offers
and are terrified both of the vulnerability that it represents and
the rejection you are sure you will get instead. You believe that if
people really knew you they would be disappointed or disgusted. So
you slink around the edge of the group, never opening or making close
friends and eventually others do start to dislike you, fulfilling
your worst fears. Ask yourself, “ What work can I take on for the
group, particularly with one or two others/ . What can I contribute?
“
Give
Me Refuge
You
are constantly demanding something from the group., advice,
reassurance, help. You want the group to make you feel welcome,
important, loved supported. After all is that not what its there for
? Ask yourself 2 What actual work can I do for the group? What can I
take on- and can I do them in such a way that my work does not
require anyone else to expend energy on these tasks? Also ask “ How
would I act differently if I felt I had power” then act that way..
The
Filler
You
just take up space. You feel your opinions and ideas are not
important, interesting or valuable. Perhaps you have been trained all
your life to think that way . Wear brighter colours and encourage
yourself to speak up at least once every meeting, particularly when
your ideas and perceptions differ from others. Take on a task
involving rather more than routine work-perhaps with the orphan. Meet
someone who is a group member in a non group setting and talk about
your life outside the group.
The
Princess
You
are so very sensitive to the group process is never smooth enough
for you. You feel compelled to comment on a slight tensions and minor
nuances of conflict, often expressing great anxiety. The Princess
(may be of any gender or sexuality) is often a therapist or a former
dominant figure and often leaves the group if they are not running
it. Ask yourself “ Who am I comparing , and why?” Refrain from
commenting on group process until you can do so by affectionately
insulting another group member.
The
Clown
The
clown or fool is an important figure in many tribal rituals or
groups. The clown's job is to make fun of people and rigid
organisations, and to provide comic relief You provide an important
role and service to the group. Nevertheless ask yourself, " can
I be serious whwn necessary? Do I know when to practice restraint?"
Is my clowning, at any given moment, futhering the work of the
group/? " Am I afraid of open conflict?
The
Cute Kid
You
are charming, good looking and want approval from others badly. Your
excuse when you do not want to do something is to plead helplessness
or get sick. You would love to be taken care of, yet you are far more
competent and strong than you really willing to believe. Ask yourself
2Do I really mean that I cant, or that I dont want to ?. Does the
task perhaps need to be done whether I want to do it or not- and done
by me.? What new level of power or responsibility will I camit to if
I do it ?. Does that scare me ? “ Also ask, “What is my life-in
the group- would I do it whether or not others approve? Ask the
group for positive feedback on your skills and abilities.
The
Self Hater
You
are a perfectionist, harder on yourself than on others. Nevertheless
you are continually escalating your standards for the group, and are
outraged at how much others fail to live up to them. You dont
understand why others feel guilty after talking to you, when you are
only trying to raise consciousness about the issue. Be nicer to
yourself. Play. At least one a day, do something irresponsible.
Sandwich your criticism between expressions of appreciation. Ask
yourself do you Identify with Jesus. If the answer is yes ask your
friends to sing hymns to you in an off key way before the meeting
starts.
The
Rock of the Ages
You
take on thankless tasks and get them done. You remember what
everybody else forgets . Everyone comes to you with their problems.
Outsiders see you as the “leader” of the group. Indeed you feel
the group would fall apart without you. Ask yourself “ Am I afraid
of showing my weaknesses?” Also ask, “ What tasks can I
delegate?” Give away some of the juicy, creative tasks as well as
the routine work. Begin training your replacement immediately, before
burnout sets in.
The
Star
You
feel the meeting has not really begun until you arrive. You talk a
lot, and often interrupt people, because you know that you will say
exactly the right thing to save the situation. Really you are
brilliant. Practice silence. Ask your self “ Do I really want to
impress people or empower people? How do I feel about people who are
constantly trying to prove to me I can never equal them?”
Recognize that others feel the
same way about you. Change and keep you friends.
My role is often to play the
star or the lone wolf . I have been trained for it since my early
childhood. I plead guilty...hehe.
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