“Sometimes
it's more important to be human, than to have good taste”. Bertolt
Brecht
The scene
opens in a pub in the Neath Valley. Dick, Benjy and Gareth are
discussing election strategy. They are concerned that the ordinary
voter is being led astray. They have just heard the latest policy
idea from the UKIP`s central committee in Essex
A
UKIP spokesman has declared that the observation was true until
proved otherwise. They said that until immigrants were directly
observed they could not comment and that there was a dire need for
further studies on the phenomenon.
UKIP’s
Caroline Jones explained, “These people clearly need further
observation. EU bureaucrats in Brussels have somehow introduced
ambiguous and confusing red tape that threatens our widely held lazy
stereotypes.”
Dick
comments “Some bloke down the pub who knows – for definite –
told me that Romanians in particular have been stealing his job, and
if that’s not bad enough, they’re also too lazy to work because
they’re all on the dole.”
Young
Benjy said “So it’s tricky.” “They
need to be studied extensively, secure and in isolation for a
prolonged period of time for objective results. Many people are
surprised how closely these scientific conditions resemble a prison
cell in Strangeways.”
Neath
Green party tried to verify these allegations with several migrant
workers, though all claimed to be unable to follow `Dicks` line of
thinking.
One
worker who wished to remain anonymous stated, “He is stupid prick,
yes?”
Gareth
said that he fully supported UKIP’s latest thought experiment. He
knows a bloke who told him the following. His mate a Mr Bush.
“I
employ a couple of Europeans, yes. And sure, they certainly put a
shift in when they’re at work. But they could equally be at home
at the same time being lazy and claiming benefits, couldn’t they?”
“I
don’t see what the issue is?”
Then
Benjy experiences a epiphany. ”I have the perfect proof of a
Schrodingers immigrant, there is this old woman, she is 90, they say
she lives in the Melin. Her names Mrs Saxe-Coberg-Gotha. Her family
are migrants from Hanover and she married to a Greek Bloke. They
have numerous houses paid for by the Benefits Agency and they took
our Monarchs job. They have a large family. She got five great
grand children. That will show those bastards in Neath Port Talbot
Green Party how clever we are .”
Dick
says “That's brilliant Benjy. What's next on the agenda?
Benjy
replies “Some bloke called Councillor Carl wants us all to vote for
him in the Constituency vote and then he promises he will get
his100,000 voters to support us in the Regional vote. That means we
will win all four seats in South Wales West. He must know what he is
talking about he's said the same thing to all the political parties!”
Dick
states “This cunning plan will really piss off the tree
huggers.....”
Gareth
says “I don't think that's a good idea...”
Dick
shouts at Gareth “Shut up Gareth you have been talking to that Neil
Shrewsbury on Facebook too much. I will report you to UKIP Central
Committee in Essex... I mean Cardiff...”
The
scene ends as Councillor Carl enters the meeting.....
Carl
smiles at them and says “I met this bloke in a pub in Anglesey.
He told me he was the AM and said his party was both pro and anti
Nuclear at the same time. Nice young bloke said his name was Rhun.
He also told me that locally his party had a councillor in
Godre'rgraig
who
voted in favour of fracking but was really against it. Let me
explain.........”
A
man enters from the left. He is in his late fifties and is wearing a
hat. He enters the pub and tells this story to the audience.
“There
was a banker, a migrant and an ordinary voter sitting at a table. On
the table was a plate with twenty biscuits on it. The banker takes
nineteen of them and shouted over at the ordinary voter. `hey that
migrant is after your biscuit`“
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