Over the next few weeks I will be sharing my expediences of applying for Personal Independence Payment. As many of you know my sight is very poor. Three years ago I had surgery on both eyes for cataracts. I had been discovered that I had Glaucoma and nerve damage in both eyes.
Recently I has a peripheral vision test for both eyes and it was found that large sections of my right eyes and smaller sections of my left had severe limits on what they see.. I have been referred to a consultant in January to explain options and medication that can help.
I sometimes have tried to flag down lorries thinking they are buses or have narrowly missed Cycles if they come out of a direction from the unseeing bit of the right eye. It also means that certain colours merge together This has meant problems at times with teaching and looking up information on line. Often I have to explain to friends and clients that if I don't see them its because of my sight and not because I am ignoring them. It is particularly worse on dark mornings and in bright light.
All of the above effects can have at numerous times psychological effects, such as vulnerability and fear. I am resilient, stubborn and a fighter yet all of these things still have an effect
Three years ago I applied initially for Pip payments and was forced to take it all the way to an appeal. I was refused at the appeal and I still remember the Judge commenting before they reached their decision. I still flummoxed as to how my erudition and eloquence had anything to do with my sight. This time I will be describing the procedures from its alpha to its omega. And I will share on social media and on my blog my expediences observations and thoughts.
Over the last ten years I have gained immense experience representing successfully people at appeals and through the Pips process. I will share with you on my behalf the entire experience and ask for your support comments and insights.
Those of you who read my posts will often see how mu sight effects my spelling. On my phone letters that are close together often are confused and I am lethal around the house leaving trials of crumbs and other debris. I now know that when I lose either my magnifying lens or my glasses that it is because of my peripheral vision loss.
Some who poke fun at poor sight by commenting on my spelling have certainly felt my wrath. I think it is often very difficult to place yourself in another shoes or vision. If you feel that I must be corrected for poor spelling because yours is so good.. I would ask that in future you consider alternative explanations. Who Knows? It might even help you understand how disability of any kind effect the things we do, perceive and act. Often I chuckle myself at how predictive text works but I do take exception at times how a couple of people have used this in mockery.
It is for reasons like this that I fight so hard for peoples rights to access what they truly should have. In the world of the narcissist and the unthinking libertarian right winger it is very difficult indeed. The posts to come will explore my experiences on the road to Personal Independence payment and I look for ward to your thoughts and comments.
I leave you with the powerful words of Leonard Cohen. It asks us all to recognize the disability we all have seen, experience and discover about others. I first heard the song over 40 years ago but never has it meant more to me than it means now......
I was walking in New York City and I brushed up against the man in front of me. I felt a cardboard placard on his back. And when we passed a streetlight, I could read it, it said "Please don't pass me by - I am blind, but you can see -I've been blinded totally - Please don't pass me by." I was walking along 7th Avenue, when I came to 14th Street I saw on the corner curious mutilations of the human form; it was a school for handicapped people. And there were cripples, and people in wheelchairs and crutches and it was snowing, and I got this sense that the whole city was singing this:
Oh please don't pass me by,
Oh please don't pass me by,
For I am blind, but you can see,
Yes, I've been blinded totally,
Oh please don't pass me by.
And you know as I was walking I thought it was them who were singing it, I thought it was they who were singing it, I thought it was the other who was singing it, I thought it was someone else. But as I moved along I knew it was me, and that I was singing it to myself. It went:
Please don't pass me by,
Oh please don't pass me by,
For I am blind, but you can see,
Well, I've been blinded totally,
Oh please don't pass me by.
Oh please don't pass me by.
Now I know that you're sitting there deep in your velvet seats and you're thinking "Uh, he's up there saying something that he thinks about, but I'll never have to sing that song." But I promise you friends, that you're going to be singing this song: it may not be tonight, it may not be tomorrow, but one day you'll be on your knees and I want you to know the words when the time comes. Because you're going to have to sing it to yourself, or to another, or to your brother. You're going to have to learn to sing this song, it goes:
Please don't pass me by,
Ah you don't have to sing this.. Not for you.
Please don't pass me by,
For I am blind, but you can see,
Yes, I've been blinded totally,
Oh please don't pass me by.
Well I sing this for the Jews and the Gypsies and the smoke that they made. And I sing this for the children of England, their faces so grave. And I sing this for a saviour with no one to save. Hey, won't you be naked for me? Hey, won't you be naked for me? It goes:
Please don't pass me by,
Oh please don't pass me by,
For I am blind, but you can see,
Yes, I've been blinded totally,
Oh now, please don't pass me by.
Now there's nothing that I tell you that will help you connect the blood tortured night with the day that comes next. But I want it to hurt you, I want it to end. Oh, won't you be naked for me? Oh now:
Please don't pass me by,
Oh please don't pass me by,
For I am blind, but you can see,
Yes, I've been blinded totally,
Oh now, please don't pass me by.
Well I sing this song for you Blonde Beasts, I sing this song for you Venuses upon your shells on the foam of the sea. And I sing this for the freaks and the cripples, and the hunchback, and the burned, and the burning, and the maimed, and the broken, and the torn, and all of those that you talk about at the coffee tables, at the meetings, and the demonstrations, on the streets, in your music, in my songs. I mean the real ones that are burning, I mean the real ones that are burning
I say, Please don't pass me by,
Oh now, please don't pass me by,
For I am blind, but you can see,
Ah now, I've been blinded totally,
Oh no, please don't pass me by.
I know that you still think that it's me. I know that you think that there's somebody else. I know that these words aren't yours. But I tell you friends that one day
You're going to get down on your knees,
You're going to get down on your knees,
You're going to get down on your knees,
You're going to get down on your knees,
You're going to get down on your knees,
You're going to get down on your knees,
You're going to get down on your knees,
You're going to get down on your knees,
You're going to get down...
Oh, please don't pass me by,
Oh, please don't pass me by,
For I am blind, yeah but you can see,
Yes, I've been blinded totally,
Oh, please don't pass me by.
Well you know I have my songs and I have my poems. I have my book and I have the army, and sometimes I have your applause. I make some money, but you know what my friends, I'm still out there on the corner. I'm with the freaks, I'm with the hunted, I'm with the maimed, yes I'm with the torn, I'm with the down, I'm with the poor. Come on now...
Ah, please don't pass me by,
Well I've got to go now friends,
But, please don't pass me by,
For I am blind, yeah but you can see,
Oh, I've been blinded, I've been blinded totally,
Oh now, please don't pass me by.
Now I want to take away my dignity, yes take my dignity. My friends, take my dignity, take my form, take my style, take my honour, take my courage, take my time, take my time, .. Time.. 'Cause you know I'm with you singing this song. And I wish you would, I wish you would, I wish you would go home with someone else. Wish you'd go home with someone else. I wish you'd go home with someone else. Don't be the person that you came with. Oh, don't be the person that you came with, Oh don't be the person that you came with. Ah, I'm not going to be. I can't stand him. I can't stand who I am. That's why I've got to get down on my knees. Because I can't make it by myself. I'm not by myself anymore because the man I was before he was a tyrant, he was a slave, he was in chains, he was broken
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