These are the reflections of my client. Gerry is 82 and has been working in a Jungian way with me over the last 12 weeks, The theme is integration of the dark mother and an attempt to understand both the dark and light anima. gerry has given full permission for me to publish this document and his reflections.
Therapy Considerations
Gerald
A. Thomas
November
2017
Acknowledging
the role that over the years the imagine of the ‘Dark Mother’,
has exercised over my subjective imagination; with it’s
accompanying negative mood swings, is my need to understand not only
the deprivations of my childhood, but also to contextualise the
relationship against that of the ‘White Lady’ figure who even in
my latter years, remains so remote and unmoving. This subjective
situation is now something I need to uncover using in particular
‘Jungian’ psychotherapy methodologies as directed by Martyn J.
Shrewsbury BA, BSc, Dip.Psych. Psychotherapist, Hypnotherapist and
Philosophy Tutor,at Asclepius Therapy Centre, in Swansea.
The
swirling activity of DM, contrasts sharply when compared to the
immobility of WL, who remains unmovable in my attraction to her. The
latter image came into my awareness when I read an account of the
persecution of the Albigenses and the Cather movements in Christian
crusades of the 13-15C in Southern France. Subjectively I fell in
love with this WL image, (as a teenager) and it came to form a part
of my psychic sense of self, remaining with me even now in my elder
years.
Both
White and Dark images have until this present time remained as
separate entities, the dark being more attention grabbing than it’s
opposite perhaps due to difficult birth and early childhood
experiences. Coupled to my rejection of ‘society-at-large’, and
inability to merge the polarity of self-awareness with the material
world, which formed an inexplicable and bewildering condition of my
‘inner’ sense of self.
After
years of attempting to conform to a positive normal life, I entered
into the Camphill Rudolf Steiner Community School, Aberdeen, at the
age of 35, which provided a living work ethic combined with spiritual
values that were accessible to my aspirations in a practical manner;
although at a subjective level of my personal development, left much
to be desired. The reason for this inner neglect was because the
school devoted much effort into demonstrating that ‘difficult or
mentally ill’ children could respond to the curricula we provided.
This aim has by and large succeeded, despite ever increasing
difficulties being presented to this therapeutic impulse throughout,
by society at large especially in institutions connected with main
stream education.
Having,
in retirement years succeeded in my own ‘normalised’ academic
path, (2017) I am drawn to the subject which I call, ‘An
Architecture of Ageing’. Such an architecture is emerging due to
societal conditions that are emerging in this present age, as our
Western European civilizations allow for a comparative extension of
life expectancy…unless we give way to war!
To
return now to ‘Dark Mother and White Lady’, these images exist
within my own sexual mystical context, which emanated partly out of
my inability to have long term and satisfactory relationship with the
feminine in normal life. This difficulty is illustrated by several
marriages and abortive relationships; resulting in my rather insular
life style that has developed during the last ten or so years of my
life. The impact of this subjective feminine duality remains as a
blockage to a healthier psychic life, within the context of my
personal story.
‘Archaic
Images’ is a term I use to encapsulate much of my subjective life
that emerged from a non-conscious state of being that, as the decades
have passed, has sought to harmonise these conflicts of polarity of
gender and extremes in my self-awareness. These psychic forms remain
active even in these remaining years of my life. As a teenager I
endured induced involuntary episodes of insulin and electric ‘
therapies’ and session of cognitive therapy induced by 1950’s
medical and legal attitudes that were then in force… not a
voluntary discipline! No matter the value or not, of such medical
impositions upon me, the resolution to continue to follow an ‘archaic
pathway’ to selfhood remained intact, and indeed has been sharpened
by recent academic studies undertaken as an elder student.
In
my efforts to contextualise ‘ Dark Mother and White Lady’ , these
entities I regarded as separate beings until my embarking on a
therapeutic awareness involving a C.G. Jungian framework of
psychotherapy. Though it is too early to judge any outcomes, except
for the attempt to consider melding together these feminine
imaginations, this process seems to promise an easing of older issues
that have caused me imaginative difficulties from, my earliest
encounters with the ‘demonic’ in my own nature, and its coming to
terms with my own life anima, gender identity and the role of a
healer, as a special needs teacher, in society.
Here
I must posit the question of possible developments of these feminine
images and speculate as to their developmental possibilities as
relating to my future ‘ demonic or egoistic’ imaginations.This
practice calls for exercises whereby these subjective images may
reach beyond my personal psychological states and fantasies. They may
also resonate with universal processes which inform my humanness,
with their relatedness to ‘origins’, as referenced in all
traditional creation literature, and in contemporary terms to the
works of psychology and emerging technology based on quantum or
particle theory. These subjects will assist in my future researches
in this area of developmental consciousness and related issues. These
topics may well be encompassed by an ‘architecture of aging’ in
our wider population; this subject I will refer to again later.
As
far as my own personal subjectivity is concerned, it remained that of
sexuality and material procreation despite the early disasters of my
own attempts at stable and domestic lifestyle. On the level of
consciousness which is involved with such materialistic forms and
possible ‘origins’ as above, these social and cultural symbols
may provide’ keys or thresholds’, which are constantly being
uncovered by an intelligent use of archaic symbolism. Contemporary
science particle theory, and quantum theory also promise fresh
developments in archaic interpretations as to basic forms of
materialism and its elements… the alchemical aspiration that holds
each human as a sacred expression within the wider universe.
But
what of my present concerns now that my struggle to acquire an
academic standing as an MA( distinction) student has been achieved?
After composing my autoethnic narrative, whilst maintaining the all
important social context beyond my domestic and personal story, I
have been occupied with philosophical debate that runs parallel to
Fine Art issues, and life-long learning. Though not directly linked
to the subject of ageing in society, my conjecture arose as I begin
to consider the ageing question as a continuation of the subject of
“Considerations of the relationship between Egoism and Muse in the
approach to the Sublime in Contemporary Society” , that I submitted
for my major work to university 2016.
As
the present awareness of this ageing issue dawns on the wider
population, and myself, there is a gathering need in society to
examine implicated parallel concerns arising from connections to our
ecological and universal responsibilities which implied further moral
imperatives for our species I believe. Even to the question of the
continuation of sapiens ourselves in our earthly planetary existence!
As
a hypothesis to the question of possible extended years of age,
although not a guaranteed development, suggest that an ‘Architecture
of Ageing’ imagination, be examined to provide an active psychic
life as one’s physical faculties undergo the ageing processes(
seeking both negative and positive outcomes we now consider as being
almost inevitable, or ‘normal’. Initially I had thought that
basing such an ‘architectural image ’ to an approach to older
years would not be too difficult but have now come to understand why
this task is difficult for many elder people, myself included.
Fearfulness!
But fear of what? And conversely Joy in what?
I
have emotional difficulties with an excess of sentimentality that
often surround older people, as this attitude imposes itself all too
often on what could have been promising conservations relating to
individual life experiences. Uncertainties and questioning moods of
Fearfulness often cause a ‘second guess’ doubting, as to episodes
good or bad in the elder’s narration. This attitude can be likened
to that of a mask being used to shield such memories from
recollection in the elder’s emotional states. Concerned carers or
relatives may, by becoming involved themselves too emotionally with
their own feelings in the relationship( project on the older person
anxieties related to or regretted by past situations. I believe such
interdependency can create a fearful withdrawal for the older person,
from interactions both with subjective ruminations of their own and
with the wider community.
What
can be the Joyfulness of the ageing process in our contemporary
condition?
Cultural
environments which relate to selflessness, to concerns that involve
the ‘Other’, in one’s life story, storytelling to young
grandchildren, remain vital across the generations. Superseding
egoism and ‘absolute truths’; such gentler soul qualities that
have realities within the physical ageing process; which previously
had been shaped by industrial work methods, can now become responsive
to inner often unsort-for-images, of an expansive, deeper warmer
mood, freed from the workday world of industrial timekeeping.. time
also becomes flexible losing its implacable sense of relentless pace,
instead becoming as a meandering process whereby the soul can recover
itself from memories painful and pleasurable.
Along
with our wider view of human nature in general, with its commonality
of symbolic images and real time experiences, the need to examine an
‘Architecture of Ageing’ as proposed here, is also the
realization of planet-wide dialogue that is very recent; only
becoming possible initially because of the destructiveness of war
during the last 150 years or so. The generation of my parents and of
my own age group that survived these catastrophic times found amongst
the derbies of collapsing empires, an upsurge of Eastern Philosophy
that has become popularized and commercialised. Especially Vedic and
Ancestor religious attitudes with the more violent extremes of
Islamic fundamentalism. I mention these societal and religious
tendencies in order to provide a context for one’s own ageing in
our Western type of civilization. The isolation caused by European
Materialism has largely disenfranchised elder generations of people
from psychic values, a situation creating vague fears of many types
as the urgency of the plight of our older generation is regarded as a
liability to society and not a blessing.
Because
in the United Kingdom we have a belief that Trade is the most
important activity even now, followed closely by ‘ pragmatism’;
ideas that originated from industrialised Central and Northern
European cultures are now being regarded as having questionable
value, in terms of psychic wellness. Societal issues concerning
ageing are regarded as ‘ problems’ to be solved! Social
engineering implemented by the State notably in UK as a National
Health service has without doubt attempted to alleviate many former
health issues. What may be less well known was the implementation of
compulsory military service on the youth of our population at the
same time!
Despite
many shortcomings the ideal of a national health programme has been
an outstanding achievement,except in the area of Social Care of the
elderly! Allopathic medications have failed to have much impact on
the daily difficulties of personal care. Simply because of the
hygienic demands placed on caring employees, these vocations have
been given over, by and large, to underpaid and undervalued people in
British society.
As
a part of reinventing vocational community care professions, that can
feed into the needs of both carers and dependents, I believe an
educational programme using existing social care programmed i.e.,
NVQ’s and additionally, a much deeper grasp of the psychology of
the ageing processes, requires at least involvement in psychotherapy
and allied appeals to that which is ‘spiritual’ in its practical
applications. Here I name ‘ spiritual’ as opposed to ‘religious’
sensitivities as any educational programme needs to be based on the
consenting elder person’s understanding of their personal values as
they interrelate with the understanding of an individual service
provider, not the agency that may be managing them!
The
reader may by now feel the author has wandered far from the subject
of this paper as expressed in the first paragraph at the beginning of
this writing. Both wider social conditions and highly personal
experiences have taught me that there is no analytical thinking
solution to the experience of polarities as being part of many elder
people’s early psychic realities that may have been aggravated by
unhappy or impoverished former states. These ‘problem’ areas
which are faced by a small but significant number of older people are
now manifestations of universal concerns throughout our Western
Contemporary Secular life.
A
polarizing experience emphasized my own inability to relate to a
sense of self for many years, and only within the context of my Fine
Art practice and reading (before my interest in psychotherapy) is
this polar estrangement being overcome in my soul life. I believe
similar cathartic memories are employed by many older people to avoid
regretted strategies from their past. It remains true also that
wonderful loving relationship and episodes are fondy wrapped in deep
emotional cloaks which provide an emotional warmth and sense of
protection that may not be easily communicated to others. Very often
closest relatives i.e. family members, can be focal points involved
in these forms of ‘therapeutic’ forgetting or being.
For
a beginning of this project I use auto ethnographic narrative as
described by Carolyn Ellis, Tony Adams & Arthur P. Bochner.
Volume 12, no 1, Art 10 January 2011, which I used in my 2016 MA
submission for university. In my own case I will use emerging
archetypes to perform a continuation of my psychic journey that may
assist people who have in their particular cases, the time, leisure
and means to embark on an evaluation of their own life histories;
reviewing any social significance they may feel as to the validity of
a life well spent, or regretted!
As
described above Dark Mother and White Lady, an archetypal image
originating from my own early childhood traumas of several kinds,
resulted in life long difficulties having to be confronted and
hopefully integrated into the adult elder person I am. This process I
believe is common to elderly persons who have survived a long life.
Longevity is a condition that is growing into concerns involving
societal agencies, often leaving caring institutions and families in
perplexing and challenging relationships, whereby an old person is
regarded as a liability and a negative influence on their family
network, if any are available, to give support.
In
the year of 2005 I described a journey undertaken by a contemporary
Scottish painter who transformed his early works from broad political
observations to what latter became deeply personal, largely
subjective visualisations of individual suffering of people nearer to
him in his own city. His sensitivity to these matters is described by
an author, T. Normand (2002) ‘Ken Currie Details of a Journey’,
Lund Humphries publishers. This subject stirred in me an interest in
archetypal image making that I described in my writing as ‘Ken
Currie and the Tarot: An Interpretation’. (2005)
The
Tarot has a long obscure history that led me to examine just four
cards in particular that I regarded as being of significance to
Currie’s journey, eventually examining closely card number nine
entitled, ‘ The Hermit’. Upon completion of my MA project, and
reading the writings of C.G. Jung I felt that such an image could
construct a symbolic return pathway to deal with communication
difficulties with the elderly, which usually are regarded as too
private, too personal and often too loving or regretful to share.
From
the above writing it is clear that these several strands of
conjecture require their own particular storyline in order to suggest
that they can form elements in an overall ‘architecture’ of the
ageing process. They may make sense to an older person when followed
separately, and I begin with my own story to tackle the suggested
reluctance to communicate life experiences to younger people, or care
providers.
First
storyline: My “ Dark Mother”
It
only became apparent to me recently through my growing unease of
recollections I held, of the relationship between my birth mother and
images arising within my self awareness. As I observed the degree of
discomfort, shame and guilt associated with these psychic moods, I
realized I needed help to understand and reconcile these experiences.
With this in mind I turned to therapies associated with C.G. Jung and
psychotherapy, as mentioned above. I discovered that an anger, which
for most of my life had been a positive, though dangerous energy, had
diminished greatly in my motivation and working life.
By
redirecting this mental/ emotional force I completed more visual
artwork and written narrative resulting in an award of an MA degree
in 2016, at the age of 82 years.
These
efforts directed me to explore the growing concern in society at
large as to why the elderly seem to be reluctant to review their life
stories. Remaining mostly secretive and non communicative to younger
people, who could greatly assist in following a vocational impulse,
to provide healthier patterns of care than is usually available?
Although
still deeply ingrained, past industrial, and mechanistic work has
left a legacy of semi crippled people whose physical bodies require
much sensitivity in the skills associated with basic personal care
routines. It is not enough to delegate such work to low paid
unskilled, often warm hearted line workers who will not become
recognised as skilled and valued carers in our society.
Second
Storyline:
Ageing
as spiritual event, in a society torn by suffering and warfare of the
last 150 years and more. Suffering has been the heritage of uprooted
masses of humanity, and remains so today. Although not usually
associated with politics especially national politics, there have
occurred N.H.S. and pension schemes within Western culture that
remain quite remarkable! The most basic care for the elderly has, in
an almost mysterious manner, grown around concerns for incapacitated
isolated and lonely people. It is important to recognize a difference
between ‘lonely ‘ and persons who choose to remain alone. Such
difference if not recognized by a caregiver, can create issues of
loss of dignity, on the part of the elder, and impatience and
frustration on the giver of (unskilled) care. This is an example of
avoidable ‘problems’ of communications, is not intended.
Spiritual
insight, has replaced largely, religious vocation within the caring
calling, I believe. In this sense a ‘ practical’ regime becomes a
caring philosophy, something easily understood within this context of
ageing; such rationalizations are secondary to the inner experiences
of a long lived life. Physical pain and periods of feeling abandoned
often remain over from very early years in a person’s life , and
can blemish childhood memories. Such distress effects the willingness
to share such important stories between an elder and carers seeking
to be of service. This and similar later tribulations create areas of
concern that can be greatly assisted by psychological insights and
could form one aspect of a training programme for carers. Pain in
later years often prohibits physical, emotional and moral mobility,
but pain can also stir memories that enrich a quality in life that
encourages others to question values that may have been ignored or
lost. If the sufferer senses a relationship that seeks to understand,
acknowledge and provide physical and emotional warmth for their
needs, then life continues to be of very significant value to all
concerned.
Part
of a proposed ‘architecture of Ageing’
Third
Story Line. Invoking the ‘ return’ to origins.
This
part of a journey, although experience through the filter of personal
experiences and social forms has I believe universal significance
especially as applicable to long human life completion. Periods in
one’s earlier motivations and acts that remain as regrets or
tangled webs of unresolved relationships, require to be examined
through the medium of the individual consciousness of the other
population. This minority may be unaware as individuals, of the
access to spiritual energies that permeates their long lived
realities. To articulate their stories will, I believe establish
communication across differences of perception between generations
and long-term care providers and environments that are regarded as
‘problematic ‘ and financially expensive.
These attitudes will not change quickly, but there are encouraging signs in medical/community care, that indicate the emergence of individual worth is central to human relatedness. Such utopian relationship will most certainly affect our dismal performance in regard to the terrible abuse we subject our planet to, through greed and extraction industries. It is difficult for most of humankind to sense such inter-relatedness, but elder people will have time and if they chose, the savvy to share such perceptions especially through family connections.
These attitudes will not change quickly, but there are encouraging signs in medical/community care, that indicate the emergence of individual worth is central to human relatedness. Such utopian relationship will most certainly affect our dismal performance in regard to the terrible abuse we subject our planet to, through greed and extraction industries. It is difficult for most of humankind to sense such inter-relatedness, but elder people will have time and if they chose, the savvy to share such perceptions especially through family connections.
It
remains to recognize possible structures to assist in the
articulation of ‘Being Old’. In this proposal I express as ‘An
Architecture of Ageing’ a possible method that can use the language
of symbolism from our human past but understood and given new life
through psychology and science. Psychology has to move on from its
medical model of Freud, important as this remains and science has to
be freed from mechanical processes of sensory illusion business
models based on financial greed. Sensory pollution is as dangerous as
material pollution of the planet.
Consciousness
varies throughout our lifetime, psychotherapy can be employed to
interpret a language to articulate a ‘Returning Journey’ for our
present elderly population. The origins of mythic encounters
picturesquely described throughout Legend and heroic adventure, point
to human consciousness being formed and shaped by resources deep
within oneself, but inhabited with many other life energies of which
human consciousness is but a part. Creation stories tell of
consciousness being gifted or transferred from ‘Gods’ to Mankind.
Of ‘Angelic’ attraction to human women desired by these creature
activities usually incurred hardship for the givers of life forces
and eventual discontent for ourselves as recipients of these ‘gifts’.
These are myth and histories , of civilizations gone by, but as C.G.
Jung indicates remain in our human collective consciousness,despite
our concern for individuality and autonomy of purpose.
Purposefulness
in an elder life can be forgotten with distressing consequences,
especially conscious purpose connecting one to intimate relationships
within the family nexus. For many, The days are long gone when tribal
and domestic ties supported our meaningful purpose in life. As
societies struggle to create caring environments the inclusion of the
psychological or spiritual dimension if recognized and worked with
enables purpose to be found again. The ‘Mythic tradition May be
covered over in an elders life but can I believe be recovered thus
enhancing our motivation to care for one another in a manner that
remains in present times, difficult though desirable.
The
above thoughts and considerations are clearly generalizations that
may indicate pointers to enable approaches between elders and
community based care personnel to be established. Psychotherapy
stresses that each person has a unique story to uncover, so if one is
in especially an elder caring relationship, it requires a foundation
based on the numinous, or Spiritual, to approach the physical needs
that are so interwoven with dignity of both elder and carer. If
hygiene becomes the goal to the exclusion of all other concerns then
unintentional distress will occur. Digestive and elimination Of
excrement with their accompanying smells are repulsive in every day
living, so too the acceptance of dressings needing to be refreshed…
these matters demand deep spiritual fortitude and proper training and
skilled understanding.
Conclusions.
As
an older person, the psychotherapeutic experience is a challenge. In
one’s mind and imagination both true and false events can be
recalled not being quite sure which is which. Emotions and sometimes
unresolved situations are revived which one would rather bury beneath
‘forgetfulness’. As our life span increases these scenarios can
become more real than one’s everyday life. This situation I believe
to be beginning for many of us older ones, to find courage if that is
required of one, to examine our long life past and not to be too
surprised if what was once white, in now black! What was once a
distressing event,can be seen as a happening that resulted in a lot
of goodness! In aging, reviewing past years is comparable to
traveling on a circular pathway, seeing a landscape where many
matters are in reverse and what one has given is indeed received. It
is a truly wonderful experience when a good event from one’s past
returns once again retaining it’s warmth, love or enchantment in
one’s recollections, indeed seemly to expand even further beyond
the individual event linking itself to psychic beauty beyond
imagination… this is perhaps why this returning is worthwhile yet
difficult to describe.
It
remains a mystery why such talents are rewarded with so little
respect in our present day wealthy society. Most local authority
funding being based on values that inhibit a therapeutic nursing care
attitude remains a disgrace within our society. It is a hope that
evolution of consciousness as a spiritual adventure, will eventually
right the wrongs of our previous materialistic morality.
Important
Note:
The
above has been written as reflections on my process of excarnation,
of returning to subconscious origins or states ( a healthy death)
after my 82 years of lived materialistic life. These images have
evolved from my work as a care worker, teacher based on the
philosophy of Dr. Rudolf Steiner as used in the Camphill schools for
special needs children and other therapeutic communities.
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